Everything is Fine Don't Panic
by SniperCT
Summary: After a long day at work, CEO Amelie Lacroix is looking forward to a night relaxing with her girlfriend. That is, at least, until her messages blow up in increasing panic, until Lena tells her everything is fine, don't panic. She didn't know what to expect when she got home, but it certainly wasn't what she found.


Amelie stared at her phone. She'd gotten a dozen text messages from Lena in varying degrees of panic, with one final message of " _Everything fine. Don't panic._ "

She didn't even know what was wrong, what was there to panic over.

"Is everything all right, Amelie?"

"Oui, everything is fine." She smiled tersely at her fellow executive. "Do you not have a date to get ready for, Fareeha?"

Where Amelie was dressed in a pencil skirt and a sharp business blouse and jacket, Fareeha wore a three-piece suit like she'd been born into it. "I kind of figured that I'm already dressed up."

Amelie nodded her head in acceptance. "Give Dr. Ziegler my regards. And good luck."

There was the faintest trace of a blush on Fareeha's face as Amelie walked away. One corner of her lips quirked. She pulled her phone out again. Nothing new since 'don't panic.' Mon dieu, what had her girlfriend gotten herself into this time?

Dating Lena Oxton was exhausting. She loved her, no question about it, but trouble seemed to follow Lena wherever she went. Half the time it wasn't even her fault, but the tabloids loved it.

"I could have dated the doctor," Amelie muttered. "But no, I had to fall for a stunt pilot with the attention span of a crack-addled ferret." Tossing her phone onto the passenger seat, Amelie started her car for the drive home. She was going to imagine all the worse sorts of horrors. The house caught fire again. Lena had brought home another llama. _Jesse McCree was visiting_. She shuddered.

The house looked normal. Maybe Lena had just been exaggerating. Maybe they could even _relax_. Amelie started to fantasize about a nice bubble bath. An image of Lena, bubbles on her hose and atop her head, almost made her laugh. But the CEO of Bastion Security was not known for her laughter.

She pulled her hair out of it's bun and opened the door. Something mewled, and she looked down to see a small orange tabby, staring up at her. It stood on its hind legs and placed its two front paws on her ankle.

"Oh non."

She looked past the kitten and into the hallway. There were cat toys strewn about haphazardly. Nothing was in it's place. A black kitten bounded across the hallway and into the living room. Amelie's eye twitched. She closed the door, calmly took her suit jacket off, and slung it over her arm as she deftly walked through the landmine of cat toys, orange kittens, and a calico that had decided to climb up her leg. Amelie could now add ruined hose to her day.

She turned into the living room. Lena was on the ground, under a pile of kittens. Including the black one, the orange and the calico that was now up to her waist, there were twelve. Sharp nails dug into the back of her shin, and Amelie was introduced to kitten number thirteen as he quickly scaled up to her back.

"Sweetheart!" Lena sat up, sending kittens scattering in every direction. "Everything's under control and I can explain!"

Amelie picked up the calico by the scruff of her neck and deposited her on the ground, then twisted around until she got ahold of the one on her back. "Oui? Explain."

"Well I was minding my own business when I saw this car drive by and throw a bag into the river. Only the bag was _moving!_."

"Tell me you slashed his tires."

"Once I saved the kittens, you bet your sweet arse I did!"

"Good." Amelie looked down at all the kittens. And the toys. And at the state of her hose and skirt. She exhaled, breathing deeply, and then said. "You are going to foist them upon our friends. It is time we have our revenge for what happened last Christmas. Be sure to save one for Ms. Amari and Doctor Ziegler."

"What about-"

Amelie held up her hand. "The Calico. And that one." She pointed at a grey tabby that had climbed her back. "They are brave. We keep them."

A pitiful mewl brought her attention to the orange tabby, who'd once again placed two delicate paws on her leg. Something like softness crossed Amelie's face for just the briefest of instances.

"We'll keep that one too," Lena promised.

"I'll be in the bath. I want the rest of them gone by the time I am done."

"What do you wanna call them?" Lena got to her feet, looking down at all the kittens. Honestly this had gone way better than she'd hoped.

"I do not know yet. But the orange one." She knelt down to give him a pat on the head. "He is Gerard."


End file.
